Isabella came home tired that evening. She closed the door to the apartment. She looked absently at the answering machine …. no message …. still silence. She threw herself on the sofa, a sigh came from her mouth. Not many thoughts crowded her mind.

Only one in particular: “What have I done wrong in life?”

Almost without realizing it, she fell asleep on the sofa.

Chapter 1

First Loves

A difficult start to the year. The separation of the parents, the transfer. New school, new friends Isabella was confused. She lived with her great-grandmother and great-uncle. The mother had to work, her brother was with the grandmother and so a new life was beginning.
She had started her new school after the Christmas break. Her first day had been exhausting.

The teacher had questioned her in all subjects to see her level of preparation. She had defended herself well. She sure she wasn’t top class but she was average.
It was like that all week. Desk, chalkboard, chalkboard desk to show that she wasn’t a stupid little girl but a smart little girl that she knew what she was doing.
She had not yet bonded with school friends. She was struggling but she had a friend for many years that she cared about. She had mental retardation problems but she was her longtime friend and during the summer holidays they had spent many hours together playing along the dirt road where her great-grandmother lived.

Now that she had moved, they could see each other more often. As for the classmates they were nice, she chatted with everyone but she couldn’t bond much. She was closed and when she tried to emerge she made a fool of herself that it was best to forget.Now the days passed. Nothing in particular. School, home, play. In the end, nothing exciting.
That day, after school, he prepared his satchel: the lessons were over and it was time to go home. She left the classroom and she didn’t notice that some kids were running and without even realizing it, she was run over by one of them. She found herself on the ground all upset and with a skinned knee. She whirled around when she was hit by that baby. She looked like she had the most beautiful appearance of her. “Come on Ale! Come on, ”another child yelled. She saw him leave after a hasty “Excuse me”. Despite the fall she felt nothing. All she saw was that child walking away and she wished she knew more about him.

In the following days she stealthily followed Ale with her eyes during recess and watched him play with the other boys, hinted a shy “Hello” when she met him. Her shyness blocked her. She wished she had done so much more.
The days went by. Isabella arrived early in the morning at school and was almost always the first of her. Her mother accompanied her early because she then had to go to work. She placed her briefcase at the top of the row. That morning, there was a strange sun, the school garden was deserted and she sat on the black sofa near the entrance she was waiting for someone to arrive so she could have a chat.
And there it is. On the entrance gate. Just the two of them and strangely he spoke to her: “Hello, how are you?”.
Isabella raised her head and replied: “I’m fine”. She then she took all the courage of her and without realizing it she said: “You would like to come and play with me this afternoon.” He smiled “I can’t. I’m going to play at Michela’s”


He woke up suddenly. She looked around. She was surprised by that memory. From that first disappointment in her life. With hindsight she then realized that this was the moment in her life that totally changed her view of relationships. She smiled to herself as she thought of him. The years of elementary school ended shortly thereafter and when she moved house she had to change school again. And start over with her 0. She happened to see him again one day, on the bus while she was returning home. He attended middle school in a private school and she a public one but for a few days she had to go to her great-grandmother’s house because she was alone. She thought back to her heart sinking when she saw him again. He sat next to her again and they chatted like friends until she arrived. Not knowing that that would be she was the last time she would see him.
He remembered the “arguments” with her friend of hers at the time of the school because she liked it too and imagined that she would marry him one day.
“Girl dreams” I think aloud looking at the cat.